Day 7 - My very busy life.

Sorry it's been so long since I've been able to write. This week has been band camp, clean house, eat a little, sleep. I'm soo very tired.

The House

It's coming along pretty well. I'm getting pretty comfy, the worst thing is that the T.V. is almost never off because we have DVR now so Michael is obsessed and won't turn the TVoff. It's okay though. I STILL haven't been able to set my room up because the previous owner's possessions are stored in my room. I can't wait until they finally get everything out and I can start setting everything up. My bathroom is done and everything though :) lol. My biggest accomplishment was finishing the kitchen. It was the toughest and I did it!!!! P.S. I cooked strawberry muffins and they were yummilicious.

Band Camp

It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. Band gives me my time. It's my place, It's where I belong. I can play and listen to the trumpets, or the mellophones blaring their tune. It makes me want to dance. It's funny, I'm not really a dancing person because I get nervous that people will think I'm stupid. BUT, in band it's like I can barely control myself. I have to move because the music gives me so much energy and I get so pumped up about it all, I'm just bouncing without realizing it. Mr. Wilson is a phenomenal band director. I hope I'm NOT a Ole miss when he leaves. The day Mr.Wilson is no longer a band director for the Ole Miss band will be a very, VERY sad day. He doesn't really talk to me, or pay any attention to me really, for that matter. That's okay because he TEACHES me and I respect him and trust him. He wants what is best for us. It's kind of weird because he makes it where I want to do good for myself, of course, but I also want to do my absolute best for him. Like, I want him to be proud of the band. I want him to be proud of himself for helping us to be amazing (because we are :D ). I don't know, I'm weird lol.

Life in general...

I don't want to lie to myself anymore. College scares the crap out of me. It's sort of like "Do well or FAIL YOUR ENTIRE LIFE." I'm not the best at music. I don't have "perfect pitch", I'm not really good at music theory, I'm not even AMAZING at playing, I have trouble singing. The best thing I can say about me is that I WANT to learn. I want to learn EVERYTHING I can about music. Music is my passion. Music brings out the best and the worst in me. My high school band director always told me that I couldn't be a musician and be a perfectionist about it. Well I am. I will always find a way to improve, or find something that needs improvement. Music has brought out the best in me because it helps me to have perseverance, to try my hardest. Yet, it also brings out the biggest flaw in my personality, which is my lack of confidence. I have the absolute worst playing anxiety....including full blown panic attacks because I had to play by myself in front of 3 teachers. Even if I am completely prepared and I KNOW I can play my piece AMAZING-like, I still shake as I walk in. I don't understand it. I don't understand a lot of things, like people and sometimes myself.

P.S. I just found out the other day that Mastering the Art of French Cooking isn't being shipped off until September 1rst.... I'm still very excited though!