Day 10 - Jibber, Jabber

As you can see, I don't really post on a daily basis. :/ It's so hard to because school is my main priority right now. It's tough but I feel soo much better about myself when I'm on top of school. I'm not takin philosophy anymore, they dropped me because I was waitlisted :(. I signed up in the spring and somehow my roomate, Jayson, got enrolled in the class the day before class started!!!!!!! I was like " WHAT!!" lol. Anyways, it's alllll good because now I'm in another music class and a lot of my friends are in it! It just helps to endure the class annnddd can anyone say study groups!!! lol. Now, all of my classes are in the music building and I think thats pretty awesome. I've made A's in everything so far, SO FAR, wait an one B on homework grade in Music Theory but still, I'm proud of myself I'm starting out great and if I just keep it up I'll end great too. I really hope that I pull my grades up even more this semester so that I can rush Sigma Alpha Iota next semester. Sigma Alpha Iota is a music sorority, yes its social, but its not in the IFC lol. I really want to be in it because all of the girls in it are really nice and it seems like so much fun and a good way to meet more people.

My Mastering the Art of French Cooking was supposed t come in yesterday... The people obviously misplaced the order so now I have to call them Tuesday so they can call the driver and figure out what he did with my book. That is sooo frustrating. ON the other hand I have Julia Childs French Chef DVDs to wach now and Julia's essentials in the kitchen to read. PLUS! It has some recipes in it that I really want to try it's just so hard to find time to cook. Really and truly, it's hard to find time to do much more than schoolwork, sleep and eat. I'm gonna try to start a new routine of waking up earlier and working out in the morning before class at 9 but I get really nervous about being late to classes. I seriously hate being late for things like that. That's why This semester I leave the house 30 minutes early. That way I miss the whole traffic rush right before 9 o'clock (students that are running late trying to rush to class), if something happens unexpectedly then I won't have to worry about being late because I have plenty of time to get there, anddd since I usually get there about 20 minutes early I have time to think about my next class and the day ahead of me so I'm mentally prepared. It seriously works very well for me.

Tomorrow is our first football game against Memphis. I am really, really excited. I hope we do AMAZING tomorrow! :D I can't even sleep! Note that I'm still blogging lol.

This school year is getting better and better. It started out a little rough for me but I think I'm starting to realize now that just because one thing is really bad that doesn't mean everything else is really bad too. My whole focus lately has been on only paying attention to the positive. It's pretty hard because I've gotten so used to not really believing in myself but thats going to stop. I feel like maybe the reason I don't do as well as I should is because I spend so much time thinking about how I CAN'T. Lately for example, in flute lessons, I've been focusing on thinking "I can do this" and I've already improved a lot even Ms.Wang said so! ^.^ I never thought I would say that I cant wait for the next lesson. I can play my way and not be scared because she actually cares and teaches me. I've already learned so much from her in just two lessons and I am so excited for this year. It's such a relief to know that you have a teacher that cares about you and wants you to succeed and makes you believe that you CAN. Now THAT is a wonderful, and I mean WONDERFUL, feeling. Last year I felt so hopeless about my musical education, I really didn't think I could make it and now I can't even describe the feeling to know that your hopelessness was just foolishness and that there is always hope. I know I'm rambling but I have a hard time expressing things so I just have to express my feeling in my own little weird way lol!

I think the other reasons I have been feeling so much better about life is because #1 I have my OWN money therefore I can buy my OWN groceries. I know that I can depend on Michael if I have to but I should never have to, and it feels sooo good to be able to depend on myself. #2 I have been talking to my parents a lot more anndd I get to see them more soon :) and I can NOT wait. literally. I miss my mom and dad. I seriously think about my parents frequently throughout the day. I'm one of the few students that could probably say that lol. I am very family oriented. I love being with family. I miss getting woke up by mom and those random times breakfast was cooked for me. or sitting at home waiting on daddy to come home so that I could pounce in him and give him a big hug. Okay I have to stop. I'm pathetic. Anyways, I can't wait for tomorrow or next weekend!!! Next weekend I get to go home and see my parents :D So, YAY! I need sleep now even though I'm not sure how I'll be able to convince myself to goto sleep. Gr. lol Goodnight world.